Become one of us.

Go on, all the cool kids are doing it. Email us and after a slightly painful (but strangely arousing) initiation you will be assigned a codename and become part of our international army of poet warriors. 




Osama Bin Rhymin

"They think they can catch me? Those fucking infidels couldn't catch a cold. I will strike at will. I will turn your rivers to alphabet soup."




"I drop word bombs like Hiroshima!"



Merchant of Menace

"Coming to your town soon, crazies armed with pens and arms with words, with nothing to lose, we're out for blood and love."




Typing Monkey

"3 ways to live and no way we'll die. yes exactly."


"Persausive menace maiden,the seductive poetess, I will inebriate your dreams and arouse your firm caress."




44 Magnum 

"I am 44 Magnum - the most powerful poet in the world. With words I will blow your head clean off. ..You've got to ask yourself a question. Do you feel lucky? Well do you PUNK?




Absolut Vomit 

"Just because I'm really really good looking doesn't mean I can't rhyme. With words I'll strike you down and make you frown... like a clown."


Arctic Fox

"No one outsmarts the fox. So don't even try. You will get hurt."



Princess Di Hard

"Use the Queen's English? Fook that. That old witch is a right slapper. Init."





Snow Yellow

"Aaah that's better."




The Truth Fairy

"What dirty little secrets do you have under your pillow? Ooh that is dirty. You kinky little minx." 




Colonel Kurtz

"I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream. That's my nightmare."