Short Stuff

You don't have to be big to get noticed - just ask Gary Coleman.

Here are some short poems, words, thoughts etc. perfect for sticking up all over the place.


Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.

If you have no mobile reception in a forest do you really exist?

Elephants are friends with giraffes because they both have big body parts.

Am I ridiculously drunk or are you ridiculously good looking? I guess that doesn't matter now. We'll work it out in the morning.

My imaginary girlfriend dumped me. She wasn't that good looking anyway.

If you want an audience start a fight.

I like to watch you when you've got nothing on. Girl you are better than TV.

If chips really were bad for us there wouldn't be so many seagulls.

Stare at the ceiling stupidly grinning. Marvel at the joy that comes from sinning.





Flying through the air
Knowing pain is imminent
Face lands before wheels
I was only four
When I saw you on TV
Miss Jane I love you
Are you serious?
The world is going to end?
Lend me twenty bucks?
No one has time to read 500 pages of a book. These stories fit within the length of a text message. With one good sentence the reader should pretty much be able to figure out the rest for themselves.

With a crimson cummerbund, a half-empty hip flask and a face full of freshly popped pimples, I made my entrance.


The joy of heaving the TV out the window was soon replaced with the shocking realisation that I had parked my car below.


His last act was to goad his son about how weakly he swung the axe.


I felt like a paraplegic, stuck at the top of the stairs, not even having the bladder control to try and piss on the flames.


More coming soon. Email us your random thoughts, short poems, twitterature.